There are many people who expect their partner to guess what happens to them and if not, they get angry. It may seem like rather childish reasoning, but the truth is that it is more common than we think.
There are those who are not able to communicate assertively and opt for a passive attitude with which they intend that their partner is the one who discovers what happens to them. This can only lead to frustration and disappointment because existing concerns are joined by the feeling that their partner does not understand them.
It is essential to be clear that love and relationships are based on good communication, leave aside the “riddles” and focus on learning to share what happens to you in a mature way.
If something happens to you or you are worried, do not keep it, communicate and remember that your partner can not guess what goes through your head. Knowing how to communicate assertively is essential for the good development of a relationship.
Why My Partner Expects Me to Guess What’s Wrong with Him/ Her
Systematically resorting to “nothing happens to me”, “I’m fine” or “you will know” is a characteristic of a bad communication strategy and that hinders the development of any relationship.
People who tend to use this type of tagline blame their partner and blame her for not understanding them, but the truth is that they are equally or more guilty by not expressing what worries them in a clear and mature way.
Resorting to irony or a passive and defensive attitude does not help to solve your problems, but will become an obstacle within your partner.
Believe it or not, this type of behavior is more common than we think, but what leads these people to commit themselves like this?
The problem of expectations
If this attitude becomes almost a routine within your relationship, it may be because your partner has created too high expectations, almost impossible such as:
- Take it for granted that your partner should notice anything that makes you angry or upset because that’s what your partner is for. The truth is that this is a very toxic attitude and that does not lead to anything but pain and frustration, because no, your partner can not read minds and know what worries you or happens at all times. Put aside these childish ideas and communicate.
- The idealization of soulmates. Another of the expectations that many people set and that is very dangerous, is the idea of soulmates and the rapport that you must have as a couple. It is a very romantic but unrealistic concept because your partner is not in your head or knows what you are worried about or what you are thinking about.
Lack of assertiveness and a tendency to passivity
On the level of relationships, it is not difficult to find passive people. That is, those who try the least emotionally and choose silence and not to share their problems because they do not know how to do it or because of their defensive attitude.
In these cases, there is a clear lack of assertiveness. They are not able to express how they feel or what their concerns are, which is a big problem within a relationship, because as we have already mentioned, communication is essential.
They do not know how to express what happens to them
When we encounter a person with this type of difficulty expressing what happens to him, it may be someone with poor communication skills and low emotional intelligence.
Why this lack of communication?
As we all know, one of the keys to any healthy relationship is to enjoy good communication. However, there are people who find it difficult and almost impossible to share their concerns with their partners. Why is this?
- Fear of vulnerability. There are many people who tend to relate vulnerability to weakness and are reluctant to share their concerns because they feel helpless so they do not “let their guard down” at any time.
- Poor education in emotional matters. The communicative problems of an adult person can have their origin in childhood and in the education they have received. It is very difficult for a person to share their thoughts and concerns if no one allowed them to do so during their childhood.
- Lack of confidence. Many people aren’t able to share what they’re worried about because they believe their partner won’t understand them or they don’t trust them to even try.
How to get my partner to open up and tell me what’s wrong with him/ her
If your partner does not tell you what is happening to him, it is likely that you think that the problem is not yours, but it is important to be clear that in the face of any setback in a relationship, the work must be joint:
- Avoid pressing. If you want to help your partner make it clear that you are there for what they need, do not pressure and above all, do not criticize. Love is listening and trying to understand.
- Communicating is not synonymous with weakness. Your partner may think that if he opens up to you he is showing frail and will feel helpless, so you should remind him that this is not the case. Sharing what you feel and communicating will enrich you.
- Say out loud what worries. As we have already mentioned, we are not fortune tellers, so you should make your partner see that a good way to free himself from what worries him is to talk about it.